The Token Jew

Last week I joined in a lab discussion on Hebrew National hotdogs, which inevitably led to the disclosure of my religious habits, and the fact that I am the only Orthodox Jew my labmates have ever personally encountered. Mention of my upbringing in an Hasidic community prompted my labmate, who regularly reads the New York Times, to share the extent of his knowledge on the subject: the women wear wigs that they occasionally burn, and Hasidic apartments regularly catch on fire since they leave stovetop fires burning for days at a time.

A sampling of questions and comments from this past week:

If you’re going bald, wearing a beanie is great: as you lose your hair you can progressively increase the size of your beanie until it covers your whole head.

So you can’t ever eat shellfish?

Is mazal tov Yiddish or Hebrew?

I heard Jewish weddings are fun: you raise the chairs of the bride and groom and dance around them.

Man, what do you do on Saturday if you can’t watch TV?