unadulterated excerpts

On Thursday, I went to the library to get a book for class, and decided that while I was there, I may as well pick up some weekend reading material (this was my last weekend to read utter nonsense without my feeling guilty about wasting time). The library catalog showed that one of the most recent additions to my “to read” list was available, but when I went to the shelving area, Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice From Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Surived, was missing. I scanned the titles in the vicinity of where the book should have been, and although it wasn’t there, something else caught my eye, Singles: Myths and Realities (published the year I was born). I took it out with the intention of just skimming it, but ended up reading nearly the entire thing yesterday afternoon. I found the book highly entertaining, and I would write more about it, but I have to wake up early for class, so instead, here are some clips untainted by my commentary (for now), and if I find the time and patience, perhaps I’ll add some of my thoughts and a synopsis of the book another day:

The idea of the importance of sharing was reiterated in our study in response to a question about marriage. Asked what the greatest advantage of being married is, marrieds and singles alike most frequently replied in terms of sharing feelings: “companionship and someone to share decisions with”; “companionship”; “love and companionship”; ... The word that turned up most frequently is these responses was “companionship.”

Loneliness is not necessarily a question of whether one does things with someone, but whether there is someone to turn to, to call, to touch, when these needs are to be fulfilled. That is, “you are lonely when you feel there is nobody upon whom you can rely to augment you, especially in conditions of stress or threat” (Lear, 1980: 202).

Other studies continue the idea that marriage is more rewarding for men than for women. For example, married women were found to be the category most under stress, more plagued by anxiety and depression than never-married women, and three times as likely to display phobic symptoms (Braito and Anderson, 1978). Never-married women, on the other hand, were found to be above average in “personal and social adjustment.” (Libby, 1978).

...the least [sexually] satisfied are most likely to be younger (18-24), never-married males.

The greatest advantage to marriage: “Having children and being a family.” “Love in caring and having children.”

Returning to the original question, it would appear that singlehood, if not dangerous, is at least more risky than marriage. Singles are more likely to report stress, more likely to use drugs, and more likely to contemplate suicide.